Welcome to the FAQ about Nils – launched sometime in the late 90s, in hiatus for very long, revived in the first days of 2006, and to be extended anytime soon.

These are actual questions I got tired of answering at some point or another….

Are you Swedish? Danish? Norwegian?

Sorry, no. My great-…-great-grandfather (on my father’s side of the family) got stuck on the German side of the border after the Prussian-Danish war of 1864. That’s where our name comes from. Ever since then, my branch of the Jeppe family was doomed to a life in this country. Other branches were smart enough to high-tail out of here, but mine wasn’t.

Are you American?

No, some non-native speakers of English say my accent is more American than British, but no native speaker would ever think that. I do have a thick German accent.

Where are you from?

Hamburg, Germany. Now living in Munich, Germany.

Nils Jeppe? Aren’t you that rich Yacht owner?

I wish.

Do you drink?

Nope.

Do you smoke?

Nope.

Do you smoke the other kind of stuff?

Nope.

Are you that guy who is married to Susanne?

No, and stop asking. I have received various inquiries about this, and I have no idea how people get the idea. Either one of my twins from alternate universes popped over to this Earth for a vacation, or the people asking are pranksters.

Why is your homepage in English?

Because I know a whole bunch of people who speak English but no German. Sorry if this inconveniences you.

Whatever happened to your Gutenberg mirror?

Oh, you must have been around quite a while. I ran a Gutenberg mirror for several years, and it was quite popular. I had to close it down when I moved my server to a metered contract on a 10 Mbit line. Fortunately, there are now many other mirrors in Germany, so I don’t really think my mirror is really missing.

Hey Nils, my name is Nils! Do you know where our name comes from?

Yes, Nils is a swedish short form of Nikolaus. The Danish version would be “Niels”. Nils is actually a pretty common name in Germany (and Scandinavia, obviously), but it is very rare in the USA. Nikolaus was a christian saint, Bishop of Myra in the 4th century. The name means ‘lord over the people’ from the old greek nike = victory and laos = the people.

Why are you always so pessimistic?

Short answer: I am not. Trust me.

Long answer: I prefer to calculate risks and to assume the worst case. That way, I know that things will – usually – go better than I expect. I find this method much more rewarding than constant disappointment.

Do you need those stay-hard pills?

Nope. And stop sending me those advertisements.

I don’t like the questions in this FAQ!

That’s not a question, how am I supposed to answer that?

Alright! Then I’ll ask: Why don’t you put better questions in here?

Because people like you just complain and don’t come up with better questions, that is why.

Are you a god?

Sure, why not.